Though we are not 100 percent sure exactly when the big moving day will be upon us, we know it is looming, like a dark ominous cloud in the distance. Sure we're excited about all the new opportunities such a move and me going back to school will bring, but that doesn't mean we won't be/aren't torn up about leaving the city of salt either. Yes, yes, yes, Logan is awesome and we have been scheming ways to get back almost since the very day we moved down to Salt Lake nearly 3 years ago now; however, in that time we have made the best of friends and become better friends with others.
What can I say? We have been blessed with so much during our time here. For the first time in both of our lives, we both truly felt at home in with our church family here. We have neighbors that we know and like and even hang out with and are close friends with. We can go on a walk and have our pick of more than a dozen people to stop and visit. We're close to downtown, but not too close. We own our own place, though we never planned on it being a home to raise our whole family in, it is still ours and we still love it. We're within 20 minutes of two of our families and I can ride my scooter wherever I need to go. Needless to say, we are happy, content, comfortable and though the future brings new chances for happiness, contentment and comfort, it is nevertheless the brooding unknown-what we all fear.
It's funny how much your perspective can change when moving is on the horizon. Every step I take whether at home, church, work, etc. I try to take in everything around me because before long I will be taking steps in a new home, a new church, a new job. On my mission-and since-I had some really trying times (who doesn't though, right?) and I wondered how I would feel and think about all my experiences afterward, even the ones that at the time I could hardly bare and though I remember the rough times, somehow all I can feel about everything is joy and peace and a longing to relive it all again. Life can play some real clever tricks on you. Darn life making me long for the past. Is longing for the past bad though? I don't think so. I think it gives us hope for the future because we know we will soon look at what is presently happening with the same perspective and with the same feelings as we do the past we long to relive. Having this kind of viewpoint, I believe, makes us truly live each moment to its fullest.
When I was a kid my favorite song was "Young 'Till I Die," by 7 Seconds because I didn't want to grow up. Ironically enough, I don't feel like I have grown up much, until I look at my life. I have all the responsibilities I used to fear: bills, taxes, responsibility of providing for a family and not just myself and guess what? Everything is OK! I have survived growing up and lived to talk about it! Sure, the ideal of staying young until I die is in my heart and I know I'll always be a kid inside, only with adult responsibilities.
Why am I tossing so much of this out into the wind for all to read (I'd be surprised anyway if you read all of this)? Sometimes, writing is the best way to come to terms with what you are really thinking and feeling inside. Does that mean that I am not scared to make a move and go back to school at such a pivotal and inconvenient time in my life? No. I'm terrified. But you know what? I know everything will work out fine, better than fine even. I have that assurance deep down inside. If I didn't, I don't think moving my lovely wife and beautiful young daughter away from all we've become accustomed to and grown to love so much would be something we could do.
Billy Joel said it best. Man, he always says it best!
Movin' on is a chance that you take...
So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last
Some will just be now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again
Salt Lake City and all that lies within you: "Goodbye." We'll be sure to come back to visit.
